So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
