When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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