so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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