Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
