Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She said her name was "party"
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
