i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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