I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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