i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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