she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
