dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
