The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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