So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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