it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
