I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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