used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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