i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
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Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
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Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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