another moral hangover. fuck.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
