Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
