I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
