If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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