I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
