His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
