look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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