Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
