I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
