And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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