I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Sext me about skeletons
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
