So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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