Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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