If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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