do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize