after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
