Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
