Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
