Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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