The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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