I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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