that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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