i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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