According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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