i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
