I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize