ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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