Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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