How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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