Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
