Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
