I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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