I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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