Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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