her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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