you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
