Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize