that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
