You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
