THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
