I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think people are normalizing furries
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
