Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
