you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
