I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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